How's your Monday going?

Today, Monday, has been rough.  I have too many thoughts and emotions to focus on much, which sucks because I have a lot I need to focus on.

So, here's me showing my work - the stuff that's going on in my brain right now.  And, yes, putting myself out there is work.  This is not easy.

First, a little background, as I keep this personal, local, and immediate:  I was born three months premature, back in the 1960s, and I spent the first three months of my life in the hospital, in an isolette (a clear box where I could get oxygen and be less exposed to infection).  I also went to Catholic schools from kindergarten through 12th grade.  So when people talk about "abortion rights" or "pro-choice" or "pro-life" or "right to life" it hits me personally.  I know that there have been people like me, who at six months gestation might have survived outside the womb, but unlike me, did not get that chance.  I know that life is sacred, a gift to be cherished, a blessing that requires nurturing, attention, and love.

I went to college and met people of other faiths and belief systems.  I met people whose social-economic situation was vastly different from mine, in both directions.  I met people whose race and culture and outlook on life were very different from what I was used to.  And, as I was taught, I believed that their lives were sacred, cherished, and blessed gifts as well.  Not all of them believed abortion was wrong, some had had abortions, and most believed the decision to end a pregnancy is never an easy one.  I realized that while my faith at the time prohibited abortion, I was not in a place to judge them or their beliefs - who among us has the right to cast the stone and all.

As I started my career in the math classroom, I took comfort in the fact that teaching math seemed objective, that I did not need to address difficult conversations around "right to life" or around any other hard topics for that matter.  Racism, sexism, classism, and all the other -isms, I thought, had no place in the math curriculum.

Then I met Hector who was terrified to show his father a failing grade, Ed who was about to be a father at the end of his junior year, Dulce who had to work every day after school to support her family, Marcus whose only meals were the ones he ate at school, Eliza whose anxiety caused her to miss many days of school, Jasmine whose anxiety kept landing her in the dean's office and labeled a behavior problem, and Jessyca who was homeless and sleeping on friends' couches.  And the list goes on, for thirty years.

And in that time, I realized that yes, Black children do have very different experiences than White children; girls do have very different experiences than boys; Hispanic, Asian, Middle Eastern, and most children have backgrounds I can never really know or understand.  But each of them is a life that is sacred, a gift to be cherished, and a blessing that requires nurturing, attention, and love.

Just as I learned, as the father of two sons, that loving and cherishing looks different for different people, so too, loving and cherishing my students looks different for each student, even in Math class, especially in Math class, a subject where the roots of classism and sexism and racism run deep.  So I try to meet students where they are, honor their backgrounds (in math and life), and see them as people, not just a brain to fill with math facts.  Besides, math facts without humanity are boring and devoid of the wonder, joy, and beauty that I see in the subject and in my students.

Which brings me to today.  I saw another tweet from someone stating that "two plus two always equals four" implying that math exists objectively, without human interaction.  I read stories about two more mass shootings over the weekend, one clearly racially motivated.  I heard teachers tell stories about being unable to teach current events in their history classes because it might make someone uncomfortable.*  And my son tells me he is participating in pro-choice protests.  

All of these things (and more) are rolling around in my head.  And I feel pride for my son taking a stand for what he believes in.  I feel guilt that I have not had the courage to do the same.  I feel anger at government officials for not clearly speaking out against racism and for embracing people who express xenophobic, misogynistic, ableist, or racist views**.  I feel disappointment that people still think we can teach math without thinking about our students.***  I am worried for my students who have to grow up in a society with people who claim to be "pro-life" but still refuse to do anything about gun violence, see violence against BIPOC and LGBTQ+ people as needing only "thoughts and prayers", or see less value in the life of a woman than in the life of someone yet to be born.  I feel helpless and frustrated that I don't know how to fix this.

I know my feelings, those of a cis-gendered, straight white male, are nowhere near as traumatic as what many other people are feeling today.
But, yeah, that's my Monday.
How's yours?

* If topics that make students uncomfortable have no place in school, all math teachers would be out of a job.

**And not just government officials.  I have family members who have "held their noses" about all the -isms a candidate espouses and voted for them just because they are "pro-life".  How do you tell someone you love that you think they are hypocrites?

***And for what it's worth, 2+2 is not always 4; sometimes it's 100, or 11, or even 10; sometimes it's |||| or IV or any number of symbols I can't get blogger to print (yet).  So stop using math to push your right-wing agenda; you're teaching your children to hate not only math, but also those who do it differently from you.